Have conversations with your man become more difficult? Have you and your partner developed a habit of criticizing and blaming each other? Our communication styles can become more negative over time without us realizing it, making our home life feel like a battleground. A healthy relationship cannot survive if you and your partner only focus on what’s wrong.
The first step to making a change is to commit to saying just one pleasurable aspect of your partner or your relationship EACH day. Say it out loud, to your partner and mean it. Don’t expect anything in return. This change will take time, but it is crucial to staying together.
Insights:
Recognizing your own verbal negativity is especially important. If you can get your partner to agree, you can call each other out on the critical or blaming statements and ask for a revised statement in its place. If you are on your own with this improvement project, stay focused on the intention of your own statements. It takes active and consistent work to change a battleground into a playground.
Example:
“Bob, I can’t believe you forgot to take out the trash again. What’s your problem?”
Change it to (this may sound corny at first, but the results are worth it):
“Bob, will you please take out the trash now. I really appreciate your help around here.”