How do you get your needs met? Do you silently wish your man would do more to make you happy? Do you make loud demands of your partner? Or, do you not really know what you need?
In order to get our needs met, we have to specifically recognize what these needs are – which is harder than it sounds. Sometimes we know what it is we DON’T want, but we do not always know how to ask for what we really DO want. Do you want your partner to give you more time, or is it just more attention you want? Do you want your partner to be more open and receptive, or would you rather he just listens while you talk? Do you want more physical intimacy? Is the physical intimacy just sex or is it public affection, as well? Many people have an idea of what they want from their partner, but they do not always know the specifics of their needs.
Action Step:
If you can identify exactly what you want, then you can ask for it in a positive way. If you want him to show he cares about you, tell him how he can do that. Instead of making a vague or negative comment like, “you don’t care about me anymore,” try asking him if he would ask you questions about your day, and listen while you talk about the details of your day; give him specific details on how he can meet your needs.
Believe it or not: Giving him the right words to say will make both of you happier.
Example: “John, when I tell you about the problems I have at work, I want to hear you say, ‘that sounds really frustrating, do you want to talk more about it?’” Being specific will help him to make you happy.
Remember: It is your job to help him make you happy!