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Giving Advice to a Man

Because men pride themselves on being able to figure things out on their own, it is insulting to men when a woman offers unsolicited advice on how to do something. While she is giving him advice with the intention of making the situation better (making him happy with her), it has the opposite effect and makes him feel resentful of her. So what is a woman to do? The first choice is to avoid giving him advice, if possible. If this is not possible, there are several ways to offer the advice so it will be received by a man in a more positive light. This is true at home and at work.

Here are several ways for a woman to begin a sentence that makes unsolicited advice less demeaning for a man:

“I’m sure you already know this, but…”

“Would you do me a favor and …”

“If you are interested in hearing a different opinion …”

“You have probably already considered this, but just in case you haven’t …”

These lead-in phrases allow a man to hear her advice without feeling as though she doesn’t trust him. It is a way for him to “save face” and not automatically reject her advice.

Realize that while you may feel annoyed by a woman giving you unsolicited advice, it is in her nature to try to help out, and it does not imply that she does not trust you or your abilities.

Recognize that men, unlike women, are very sensitive to hearing unsolicited advice. In fact, they may reject your advice, just because they did not ask for it, even if it was great advice. Try to use the lead-in phrases above to avoid him rejecting you completely.